|It's a hard life|
Shortly after my husband jetted into the sun on a boys holiday I received a text. Awwww I thought, he's missing us already. 'Vik, can you sort the travel insurance ' it read. Then I found a package with a stick it note on it 'Vik, can you post this'. A few hours later I noticed another note and promptly thought were he could perhaps stick it.
The weekend started bright and 5.40am breezy, with a lovely slap stick sketch involving me, my 19 month old, a bowl of cheerios and the floor. Repeated 3 times with painful ridiculousness.
A visit to my brothers was most enjoyable for my youngest who took great pleasure in making the most of his new surroundings. He merrily alternated between attacking the TV, lunging for drinks, diving on the dog and rearranging the washing. Me, my brother and sister-in-law positioned ourselves strategically around the room in a bid to scupper his plans which reminded me of the bit in Mary Poppins where they fire the cannon, posts everyone!!!! This visit most probably ensured that they will be 'too busy' for babysitting duties until 2018 and need to take the dog to counselling.
Sunday lunch at my mums, always a winner. My youngest ate his dinner with gusto then proceeded to launch anything in reaching distance like an Olympic shot putter. My eldest decided to do anything other than eat. Wedged between my unruly boys, blocking flying veggies from one side, fishing my 5 year old out from under the table from the other, I willed them to behave to show what a great job I'm doing. "I've farted" laughed my eldest, "Bye Bye" cheered my youngest.
The week began with my youngest smearing himself in black shoe polish 5 minutes before the school run. Rushing, I decided to clean all the visible areas, leaving his legs looking like a serious fake tan disaster. 9 hours later in the bath I realised that wasn't such a great idea. The next morning cupboard door lock fixed and legs just about clean, I was confident that no such incident would occur again. What a silly mummy. 5 minutes before leaving the house (if anything he's consistent), he decided it would be a marvellous idea to apply the green coloured factor 50 suncream himself. Such a kind, thoughtful son.
In the moment I felt quite sorry for myself. Sorry that my husband was sunning himself abroad. Sorry that at 5.40am I wasn't snuggled in bed. Sorry that I couldn't sit still and have a conversation. Sorry that when you thought you had it all sorted you hadn't. After the moment, when calm is restored. Cheerios are back in the bowl, only a faint green tinge remains (on carpet and child) you realise if that is all that's wrong in life then really you should consider yourself extremely lucky.